Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
