Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
