Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
