They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need to calm my uterus...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
