Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
