Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
