Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
