I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Less talking, more tequila
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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