There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
