My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
