My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize