why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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