we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Randomize
