i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize