is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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