Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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