He is an equal opportunity slut.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
