he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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