just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
