My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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