Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
