i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize