she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
