i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
