i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
