i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
