The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize