If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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