Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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