My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
