guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
