you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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