Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
