I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
