btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
