I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
someone threw a dead crab at me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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