A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
