i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
