I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
