I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
