I smell stomach acid.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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