just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
