Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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