Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
