The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
