you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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