Just fell off a train. Bad.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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