It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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