lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
