I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize