You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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