you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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