i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
