He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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