just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
