I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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