am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
