I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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