i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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