Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
