this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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